Lately

J and I leave for Miami in one month! I just ordered this swimsuit, which is a total mom suit with "compression" but also looks super hot, so I'm excited to get it. It comes in dozens of color combos, and solids, but deep greens and navy are my colors. I feel like this suit was made for me - and my mummy tummy compression needs.
 
We are deep in the joy of anticipating our vacation (remember this article?) and it's surreal to see the Miami forecast for swimsuit weather on my phone each morning and then look out the window and see a foot of snow all around! I cannot wait for a dose of sunshine. I'm also increasingly nervous because this will be the first time we've been away from Coco and Theo for more than an overnight. Speaking of travel, I actually wound up cancelling my trip to Zurich last month because starting in late October, Theo was just more attached to me than usual. It made my mom hairs stand on end and I could not see how 12 days apart would possibly work.

I did not feel good about putting him, or J, in that position. And, really, I didn't want to put myself in that position because when you're that far away, you're completely powerless to help should the need arise, and I'm sure in my heart of hearts that it would have been hard for him. So I didn't go. That was at once a huge disappointment, and a total relief, too. I was so sad to cancel, but then once I had done it, I realized that I wasn't really ready to go to Zurich just then. My poor heart is still so tender when it comes to missing Zurich, and yet, I've begun to find a sense of normalcy and stability and comfort here for the very first time since we repatriated in 2014. I can imagine that going to Zurich a few weeks ago might have knocked me off balance and made it harder for me to be present and to enjoy my current life. And that would be a shame, because life is pretty dreamy lately, and something I would not want to miss out on because I'm distracted by comparing it to something else.

More soon.

Photo via Summersalt.