Repatriation: Unfollow

Are you struggling as a repat? Returning home after our time in Zurich was, and some days still is, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. If you're newly back home, or even if you repatriated a few years ago and still can't find your footing, I have a simple tip to share. A few months ago, after the decision to stay put for a while and make the most of life in Spokane had been made, I did something I wish I had done a lot sooner: I unfollowed just about every Instagram account I had been following that had anything to do with Zurich.

You see, it kept happening that I would open Instagram and see a photo like this one and be instantly teleported back to Zurich. I would actually be able to feel the rumble of the tram beneath me and to hear the robot announcer's voice announcing the next stop. I wanted to be there so badly, just back in my old life, riding the tram into the city, or on my way to meet a friend at the Bürkliplatz market. In other photos, I'd be reminded of little traditions we had at cafes or favorite spots. In others, I'd see places from my bucket list which I had never visited. And every once in a rare while, I'd see a photo that was almost identical to a photo of my own. Like this one, taken in Neumarkt, of J walking with baby Coco in the BabyBjörn.

Regardless of the instance, the result would be the same: I'd wind up feeling all angsty and sad and cycling through all of the emotions of regret and longing and yet being grateful for where we are now, and it was plain exhausting to do that every day, once or twice a day, or more.

It took a while. At first I thought I would just unfollow the big ones like Visit Zurich, the official Instagram account for Zurich Tourism; and Zurich Seefeld, the account for our old neighborhood. But over time, I realized that I had to unfollow friends, too. It was hard to do, but now that it's been a few months, I can see that it was so necessary.

So what will happen to you if you unfollow your old life? Well, you'll start noticing more in your current life. You'll begin paying attention to the aspects of it that have the ability to make you happy. For me, that's decorating my house, enjoying things like walking Coco to school and paying more attention to and participating in local events. It may be very similar for you, or it could look different. There's one easy way to find out: unfollow, unfollow, unfollow!

It can feel scary at first, as if you're forsaking all that you had in that place. It can feel as if the identity you have wrapped up in your former life is rooted there and you cannot bring it with you. But you're not, and it's not. Remind yourself that those photos and accounts are always there if you go look; and that place will always be there. The important thing is to begin watering the grass you're standing on because it matters a lot. When we focus our energy on our current reality, it makes space for being present and experiencing joy in a way that is otherwise impossible when you're constantly being pulled backwards by Insta-reminders.

Would you unfollow for the sake of being happier? If you're a repat, what have you found helpful in adjusting to life back home? Even if you're not a repat, it always makes sense to unfollow any Instagram account that makes you feel sad as you scroll past their photos, don't you agree?

(Photos via 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6)