We got just a little bit of snow today. This morning, it was a light dusting and by mid-morning, it was dumping. This photo was at 3 o'clock when Theo and I went to pick Coco up from school. It was crazy! I was happy to get outside after being so sick I hadn't left the house since Tuesday. Ugh. And now I'm healthy and ready for the weekend and Christmas prep.
I've sat down to write a number of times over the past few weeks. I really do want to get back to the blog, but I just haven't been able to find the words. So much has happened in the past few months and I'm still trying to make sense of it all. I know it would be helpful to do that here, with all of you kindred souls, but I've hesitated, a lot because I worry that if my family members read my blog (I'm not actually sure that they do) that they might be offended or saddened by my feelings of disappointment and regret that we are still in Spokane this year. It has nothing to do with them, of course. I love them. They're the reason I came here. But when things fell through and we wound up still being here at the end of last summer, as much as I hoped that a different neighborhood and fantastic school for Coco and better situation all around would change things, they just didn't. My desire to return to life abroad hasn't changed. I don't really know what else to say. And yet I have a lot to say about it. Repatriation is so ignored in the realm of expat literature, blogs and advice. It's ridiculous because coming back is a million times harder than leaving.
I'll leave it there, but I hope I can find a way to start exploring some repatriation themes here. I know I'm not alone and I know it would be helpful to others to know that they're not alone, either.
But that is all for another day. Without further ado, here are a few links for your weekend:
I've had this song on repeat for weeks.
THE GRAND CANYON. (Ha!)
The Bad American Habits I Kicked in Finland.
Coco's getting this retro toy for Christmas.
10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Giving Up on Your Dream.
Decluttering tips from a pro organizer.
Better interview questions.
Cat Person, deconstructed. (And Cat Person in case you haven't read it yet;)
Yes, France. This is so important.
LOL.
And bravo, Alabama! What We Learned from Watching Doug Jones Beat A Predator. This article is excellent.
I hope your weekend is cozy, wintry and full of Hygge. Unless you're somewhere warm. Then I don't know what to tell you! ;) See you back here Monday, I hope! xo
Hi Lindsey! So nice to see a blog post from you in my feed!! Repatriation is impossible to explain unless you've done it. As you said, it's not personal, with regards to your family. They may never understand, but all you can ask is for support. It reminds me a bit of experiencing the first death of a close family member. Before, I could always offer support and sympathy to others going through it, but until I experienced it first hand, I didn't really know what it was actually like, and it's a whole different thing. We are 4+ years from our time in CH and I know exactly what you are going through! Keep blogging and you will grow this 'tribe'!! You also cover lots of other interesting topics and I think that's good too! I know that my hobbies and passions have helped in this transition time!! Looking forward to hearing more from you!! Happy Holidays to you and your family!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! You're so right about repatriation being a million times harder and not discussed. It's probably because it isn't exciting like moving abroad is....it's painful and lonely. As a person who has/is experiencing it, it's so nice to be able to relate to someone else! I think you have more followers than you realise you really really love your raw, honest posts.
ReplyDeleteYour Christmas looks so cosy! It will be 38 degree's celsius here in Canberra tomorrow...gah. I really miss the northern hemisphere.
oops! who**
ReplyDeleteOh thank you! It's a little scary to be raw and honest, but it feels right. :) 38?! That is soooooooo hot. I can't imagine that kind of weather for Christmas. I really can't! How amazing. Just try to enjoy it. Here is it 1 degree Celsius and it's raining and bitter cold and all the snow on the ground has turned to nasty slush. It is gross. Ick!!!
DeleteAww, so sorry things have not panned out with how you feel given the "ideal" Spokane set-up. Its really something so tough to go through and you feel so isolated and misunderstood. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI identify a lot with feeling bummed about “still being here” even despite being generally content with life, liking the people in it, etc. We are still in the stereotypical soulless American suburb for at least one more year, probably two. It’s not the best fit for our family and yet it is where we are for now, and because we are fortunate and healthy and happy, I’m still relatively content. But “content” doesn’t mean I stop longing to be somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved here I told my husband that I needed him to understand something: I needed him to understand that I would not be happy here. I needed him to understand this without me constantly telling him, because that would free me up to stay positive, focus on the good things, and find a way to be content. If I felt like me being content led him to believe that I was happy here, happy HERE specifically, then I would feel somehow compelled to communicate my displeasure, which would lead to me focusing on negative stuff. I told him that unless I specifically tell him I love it here and want to stay forever, he should assume I am always hoping desperately that this is a short-term stop in our lives. That way, I don’t have to constantly mope around about it. I am free to focus on the things I like and ignore the things I don’t.
Some people may not understand how one can be content and yet still disappointed. But I do. Hang in there.
So lovely snowy weather. I love to play with snow a lot. ECG machine supplier
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