On This Rainy Monday Morning

The last couple of months have been a lot to process. I sort of touched on everything here, but wasn't ready to talk about it or even close to having a level of understanding or comprehension on how I felt about it until pretty recently. But here I am, sitting in our little breakfast-nook-turned-office/extra-kitchen-space with a cup of coffee in my Oregon mug, feeling pretty (what's the word?) present.

I feel present.

Last night as I was getting the kids ready for bed, I had a moment where I thought to myself, Wow. This is nice. Things are so uncomplicated. The kids are home, we have this family nest thing going on. In a few years, they'll be going off to sleepovers and never home and only wanting to be out with their friends, and then off to college! I'm so happy to be here right now.

I guess that through all of the upheaval and chaos of having an international move in the works and then having that plan completely fall through, I have come to realize, more than ever, that all we can do in life is focus on what really matters and do our best to prioritize in such a way that each day we are living our values. When I say I'm happy to be here, it has nothing to do with my physical location. I am happy to be in this stage of my life, with Coco and Theo in their infinite adorableness and with J, who is so loving and encouraging. Sure, parenting young children is exhausting and demanding, and marriage and domestic life require a lot of work. But if we focus on the negatives, we miss out on all the goodness.

So I'm just really happy to be here right now. In the coming years, things will certainly change. That we can count on. Our children will grow and change, our careers will evolve, more likely than not we will move overseas and become expats again. Up until this point in my life, I've been all about getting out there, taking the bull by the horns, making it happen. Not anymore. It will all come. I'm going to enjoy where I'm at and be patient while it does.