My Broken Nose Story

I'm very happy to report that my nose is all straightened out and my black eye is almost all cleared up. Would you like to hear what happened? 

Two weeks ago, my cousins invited us to meet their families at the water park. We packed up a picnic and headed over. Theo is not quite the fish that Coco is, so I asked the lifeguard if it was okay for me to take Theo on one of the kiddie slides to see how he liked it. She said it was fine. Coco had already been going down the slides with her second cousins while Theo and I had eaten our lunch. So I assumed she was fine to go alone. She was hesitant when we got to the top of the slide, but I told her, "It's not deep, you can stand up at the end," meaning IN THE WATER. She went off down the slide and I waited longer than necessary, then went down with Theo on my lap. I was surprised at how fast we got going right away. Clearly the kiddie slides are made for children who don't weigh as much as Theo and I put together. I tried to slow down, but I couldn't and we sped through a little grove of trees and came around the bend zooming along the final stretch. Oh my God, there was Coco standing on the end of the slide! I screamed out, "Coco, no!" but it was futile. My feet took her feet right out from under her and her head smacked into my head with the most horrifying *CLOCK* sound I've ever heard. It was like two bowling balls clunking together at high speed. We all went into the water and I was instantly in calm, focused, crisis mode. I scooped Theo's head up out of the water, grabbed Coco's arm and made sure her head was above water. Just then, I looked up to see my cousin wading through the pool toward us with a terrible look of horror on her face. My head hurt so badly. We hadn't even been there for an hour! It was my very first slide. Ugh. 

My cousin took Coco's hand and I beelined with Theo to J and thrust him into his arms. "We have to go home," I said, and J, looking white as a sheet, replied, "Your nose looks really bad." I went straight into the bathroom, noticing my nose was bleeding on the way. J packed up Coco and Theo in record time and took them out to the car. In the bathroom, I saw that my nose was clearly broken, purple and not really in the right place. I spun around to go find ice. Within seconds, my nose was already visible out of the corners of my eyes from the swelling. Ouch! I got a bag of ice from the food vendors and went to the parking lot where J had already pulled around and was waiting for me. 

Urgent Care admitted me ahead of all the other people waiting. A few x-rays later (yes, you can x-ray a nose!) we learned that it was, indeed, broken. Yowza. Yesterday, I went in for the "reduction" as they call it, which is really just a nice word for wrenching it back into place with the help of a thing that looks like a butter knife. It was worth it in the end, but getting my nose and face numb enough to to do the procedure was a complete nightmare! First there was a numbing spray, then my nose was packed with cotton balls soaked in numbing liquid, then shots. Way too many shots, which, by the way, contained epinephrine, so I was completely jittery. Along with my nose, my throat went numb and I was convinced I could not swallow. The doctor replied ever so calmly when I threw my head between my knees in dizziness and exclaimed I could not swallow, "You can swallow. You just can't feel it," and then I swallowed and it was just fine. I laughed a shaky laugh and said I could understand why he preferred people do a general anesthetic for this! The procedure itself took hardly any time at all compared with the thirty minutes of numbing. But it was not pleasant. It takes a great deal of muscle to move a nose. It didn't hurt, but there was a lot of pressure and grinding bone noises coming from within my head! So thank goodness that is all over with and went well. I am very happy to report that my nose now looks better than it did before it was broken. When I got home, J said happily, "You don't look like Owen Wilson anymore!" How great is that?! ;)

Have you ever broken your nose? Did you get it straightened out again or just live with it not really in the right place?