How do you unwind?

Since becoming new parents, J and I have been in constant flux mode trying to figure out how everything works now that we have a third, very tiny person with a unique and labor-intensive routine in our domestic mix. Like all new parents, we are simply learning as we go and some nights everything goes perfectly! She's in bed at 7 sleeping happily, J and I have a nice dinner, enjoy a glass of wine, then watch an episode of Downton Abbey and go to sleep happy and relaxed with a clean kitchen. Other nights she's not asleep until 8, we're eating at 9 pm and then we fall into bed exhausted with a sink full of dirty dishes around 11. I honestly have no idea what separates the good nights from the bad nights sometimes. I'm also a little surprised that it doesn't bother me more. Somehow I am comfortable with the trial and (mostly) error that seems to accompany early parenthood. It must be the hormones! 

Even still, we have tried to figure out ways that we could switch things around to make our evenings more fluid, predictable and consistent for Coco. One idea was that J make dinner every night. It makes perfect sense. He could stop at the store on the way home from work, make our dinner while I put Coco to bed and then we could eat together and enjoy our evening. It was a wonderful idea that lasted for one night. 

Here's why.

I love cooking. It is my absolute favorite way to unwind. When I take a bath, I still think about things that are bothering me and I get antsy or distracted and I want to check my email or Facebook or look something up online. Ridiculous, isn't it? But that's just how it is for me. Bathing is a purely physically relaxing activity. It relaxes my body, but not necessarily my mind. Cooking is different. When I cook, I go into a complete flow state of mind. I chop. I stir. I smell. I watch. I pinch. I wash. I add. I wait. I decide. I become entirely absorbed in what I'm doing, so much so that everything else ceases to exist. When the meal is finished, I am refreshed, invigorated, renewed. It's much more than the food. So how could I give that up? I can't. I really can't. 

For now, it looks like we will remain in our state of flux. Tonight J got Coco ready for bed and read her some stories before I nursed her and that seemed to work really well. So as long as we keep trying, I'm sure we'll find something, but I'm dying to know. What is your evening routine? How did you adjust to life with a baby? I've read lots of books, but I'd love to hear how real parents are doing it! ;)